Thoughts on the loss of Jill Austin
Mon, Jan 2009 10:04 | Permalink
As soon as I received word that Jill was in the hospital, I asked the Lord how I should pray. “Is it her time, Lord?” I timidly asked. Immediately, I felt the answer rise up within me releasing tears of grief. And so I could do nothing but pray for a quick and peaceful resolve to her physical state and enable her to start dancing with the angels and the One she loved most.
I felt like it was her time. For a while now, Jill had been contemplating where to live and eventually settled on a decision to move from Newport Beach, where I grew up, back to the community of Kansas City, her home base for many years. She was in that transition. Itinerant ministry takes a greater toll on women than on men and the stressors on single women are more poignant. I know. I spent 260 days on the road last year – most working a secular consulting job; some travel spent in itinerant ministry. Coming home to an empty house is harder than being on the road sometimes.
Jill needed to settle back into a community and be loved. I heard the words beneath her words during our conversations over the past year and bore witness to them myself. She recognized, and I do believe, that she had walked through a fierce battle in recent years. When I heard that she was in the hospital, I knew that the enemy’s assault was destined to be dealt with once and for all and that God, in His mercy, was bringing her to her ultimate home. The enemy has not won. Our loss is heaven’s gain. And it is Jill’s turn to be loved and ministered to.
What a shock that such a friend and mentor could go so quickly without a time to express how much I loved and valued her. I was looking forward to ministering more collaboratively with her in the coming year and she had even sent me the latest draft of the book I was helping her with – a book that arrived two days before she died. It is called “Flying Lessons”. I guess Jill decided to fly higher.
I thought we had time; that we would be spending more time together. We always think we have more time. And then, when you least expect it, time ends for one and the other is left feeling tremendous loss as a vacancy sign suddenly gets hung on one of the rooms in the heart that once was occupied and no one else could fill. And when I walk around that room I sense the regret that I hadn’t appreciated her more in this life…given her more of my time…blessed her as much as she had blessed me. And in that room, too, is a lesson keenly imprinted on my soul that I should take more time for relationships, become more sensitive to other person present, be less self-focused, travel less, love more and be loved more.
Right around the time Jill passed away, I felt unsettled and left the worship service I was attending for the nearby prayer room where I sat heavily in a chair staring out the window. I felt her departure the moment it occurred. I sensed two angels coming along either side of me; messengers sent to stand beside me while the news sank into my spirit. They kept me company for an hour. The peace and comfort they exuded helped for a while. I was grateful that God had sent them to me.
After awhile, I went home to find out that she had moved to heaven permanently at 9:48 p.m. central time. And I cried. It hit me hard. The church has lost one of the most creative and free, mystic-revolutionaries to hit the modern pulpit. She inspired all of us creative prophetic types to be ourselves and love the freedom of not having to fit into a mainstream way of thinking and being Christianly. Her childlike faith was welcome by some and scorned by a few and seemed to puzzle left-hemisphere-dominated brainiacs. We artists “got” her immediately. I considered her bold and brave to fulfill her calling as a single woman in a male-dominated field of tall poppies. Her presence softened the prophetic movement, enlarged it. I think that God thinks she was the greatest.
The next morning, I picked up my Bible and in true prophetic style said, “What Lord, is the significance of 9:48?”
I flipped through a few books and finally settled on Luke 9:49. I believe this is the message God would say to us all:
Then he said to them, "Whoever welcomes this little child in my name welcomes me; and whoever welcomes me welcomes the one who sent me. For he who is least among you all—he is the greatest."
Jill was the greatest. I, for one, will miss the expression of the Holy Spirit that she released on earth. She was unique. And Christ in her, that creative, free-flowing encouragement into more, is part of the void that we all feel. There will never be another Jill Austin. But there are others who are least among us that need welcoming. Will we let them in? And will we give them flying lessons? Or at least soar alongside?
I felt like it was her time. For a while now, Jill had been contemplating where to live and eventually settled on a decision to move from Newport Beach, where I grew up, back to the community of Kansas City, her home base for many years. She was in that transition. Itinerant ministry takes a greater toll on women than on men and the stressors on single women are more poignant. I know. I spent 260 days on the road last year – most working a secular consulting job; some travel spent in itinerant ministry. Coming home to an empty house is harder than being on the road sometimes.
Jill needed to settle back into a community and be loved. I heard the words beneath her words during our conversations over the past year and bore witness to them myself. She recognized, and I do believe, that she had walked through a fierce battle in recent years. When I heard that she was in the hospital, I knew that the enemy’s assault was destined to be dealt with once and for all and that God, in His mercy, was bringing her to her ultimate home. The enemy has not won. Our loss is heaven’s gain. And it is Jill’s turn to be loved and ministered to.
What a shock that such a friend and mentor could go so quickly without a time to express how much I loved and valued her. I was looking forward to ministering more collaboratively with her in the coming year and she had even sent me the latest draft of the book I was helping her with – a book that arrived two days before she died. It is called “Flying Lessons”. I guess Jill decided to fly higher.
I thought we had time; that we would be spending more time together. We always think we have more time. And then, when you least expect it, time ends for one and the other is left feeling tremendous loss as a vacancy sign suddenly gets hung on one of the rooms in the heart that once was occupied and no one else could fill. And when I walk around that room I sense the regret that I hadn’t appreciated her more in this life…given her more of my time…blessed her as much as she had blessed me. And in that room, too, is a lesson keenly imprinted on my soul that I should take more time for relationships, become more sensitive to other person present, be less self-focused, travel less, love more and be loved more.
Right around the time Jill passed away, I felt unsettled and left the worship service I was attending for the nearby prayer room where I sat heavily in a chair staring out the window. I felt her departure the moment it occurred. I sensed two angels coming along either side of me; messengers sent to stand beside me while the news sank into my spirit. They kept me company for an hour. The peace and comfort they exuded helped for a while. I was grateful that God had sent them to me.
After awhile, I went home to find out that she had moved to heaven permanently at 9:48 p.m. central time. And I cried. It hit me hard. The church has lost one of the most creative and free, mystic-revolutionaries to hit the modern pulpit. She inspired all of us creative prophetic types to be ourselves and love the freedom of not having to fit into a mainstream way of thinking and being Christianly. Her childlike faith was welcome by some and scorned by a few and seemed to puzzle left-hemisphere-dominated brainiacs. We artists “got” her immediately. I considered her bold and brave to fulfill her calling as a single woman in a male-dominated field of tall poppies. Her presence softened the prophetic movement, enlarged it. I think that God thinks she was the greatest.
The next morning, I picked up my Bible and in true prophetic style said, “What Lord, is the significance of 9:48?”
I flipped through a few books and finally settled on Luke 9:49. I believe this is the message God would say to us all:
Then he said to them, "Whoever welcomes this little child in my name welcomes me; and whoever welcomes me welcomes the one who sent me. For he who is least among you all—he is the greatest."
Jill was the greatest. I, for one, will miss the expression of the Holy Spirit that she released on earth. She was unique. And Christ in her, that creative, free-flowing encouragement into more, is part of the void that we all feel. There will never be another Jill Austin. But there are others who are least among us that need welcoming. Will we let them in? And will we give them flying lessons? Or at least soar alongside?
www.jlministries.wordpress.com
www.julialoren.net
www.divineinterventionbooks.com
Comments
Love & Glory: Experience the Reawakening - May 9 - Retreat for ministers, missionaries, caregivers, healers, disaster aid workers, & other helpers
Thu, Jan 2009 03:24 | Permalink
After working in the trenches of war and disasters - inside and outside the church walls - for many years, I've been asked repeatedly, by military chaplains and pastors, to present a workshop specifically for those who work intensely with people. You know who you are! Pastors, counselors, caregivers, intercessors, healing room ministers, missionaries, medical professionals and disaster aid workers. It's time for you to get refreshed and experience a reawakening of God's love and glory shining on you.
So come and join me and my ministry team in Redding, CA on Saturday, May 9 from 10:30 am to 5 p.m.
Here are the details:
Love & Glory: Experience the Reawakening
Pastors, professional counselors, prayer warriors and caregivers need to continually release healing, faith and hope to others. We fight against the occult influence of culture and the impact of life in a fallen world every day & it kicks back. Meanwhile, we need to prepare to handle more as the ongoing traumatic events in nature, war, and personal and economic upheaval stress our communities beyond belief. How do you maintain faith and a peaceful presence & have enough to impart to others? How does the healer maintain one’s own healing presence?
Based on my work in recent years and continuing referrals from various ministries I see that burnout threatens to overwhelm counselors, pastors, intercessors and caregivers and missionaries. It is time for you to take a break, rest and reawaken to God’s love and glory for you – so that it may flow more powerfully through you. Come and join us for this interactive & powerful ministry time.
Julia Loren, MS – Julia has been in prophetic ministry for more than 12 years, is an ordained minister & a family counselor. She is a Compassion Fatigue / PTSD specialist and consultant to the DOD Military Family Life Programs. She is also the author of several books including Breaking the Spirit of Despair, Dancing in the Fullness of Joy (forward by John Sandford); and Shifting Shadows of Supernatural Power (with Bill Johnson and Graham Cooke, regarding the occult influences in culture and the need to reawaken to God’s love and glory). See www.julialoren.net or www.divineinterventionbooks.com for more information.
Topics:
• Reawakening to love – quick recovery from burnout, PTSD and compassion fatigue
• Spiritual and occult influences on mental and physical health
• Breaking through despair and hopelessness, depression and anxiety
• Releasing God’s glory - Imparting faith, hope and love when the sky is falling all around you
Ministry:
Receive an impartation of God’s presence and power to minister/counsel more effectively. The ministry team will be available for inner healing and prophetic ministry throughout the workshop. You will go home refreshed and reawakened to God’s love for you and re-empowered to minister to others.
Cost: $75 per person if you reserve by March 15. After March 15 - $125 per person. Includes handouts, assessments that you will complete ahead of time and afterwards, and ministry. Lunch is on your own.
Contact:
JL Ministries
windsongoutreach@gmail.com
